Day 9 of gratitude month

Today I am beyond grateful to have friends in my life. In August of 2020 something happened to me that i am not able to discuss in detail. I was told not to say anything. Have you ever had a secret that someone forces you to keep when inside of you everything screams that i need to offload? I was like that. I felt like exploding. I was going crazy like really really mad crazy.

Now when I say secrets i don’t mean business secrets for those are chores and do not affect me. I mean personal stuff, stuff that get on your nerves and stuff that feelings are built on. I needed someone to tell. I thought i was going crazy. I locked myself in my house because i was so scared. I couldn’t breathe and i had panic attacks left right and center. My body, mind and soul screamed at me for the abuse.

I had a therapy session 4 weeks into my forced secret and finally offloaded to my therapist. Well, she asked me if I had friends and I said that they wouldn’t understand. She said try telling them and then judge if they would not understand. So i went out the following weekend and shared with my friends one after the other. The support they gave me was heartwarming.

They gave me advice, they checked on me and they hugged and prayed for me and with me. I really felt like I have the best of friends in the whole world. I asked myself why i thought it was necessary for me to keep such a secret that ate me up and almost destroyed me? Why could not trust them? That is one of the answers i will never get.

My friends are amazing. I live in a foreign land but you would think I was born here for i feel at home. They color my life in beautiful colours and i no longer feel alone anymore. I struggled to fit in as a kid but with them I can be myself, I do not need to do anything to feel appreciated or welcomed. They just do everything naturally as if we were went to be. I feel like we were actually meant to be. I am so grateful to know them and to be close to them.

May God bless my friends with everything they need.

May Love, peace and joy be their portion forever. I love all my friends a lot and today i appreciate them and m so grateful to be close to them. The family that I chose for myselfπŸ™ƒπŸ™‚πŸ™‚ I chose well 🀭🀭


Until then…

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