Confession Mondays (4)

Late post

My post is late because my kitten kookie has been sick. She was in the pet clinic since Thursday night, i had to rush her there because she stopped breathing well, she had no appetite and was weak. She came home today finally. I have to be thankful that even if I’m broke i got her back. I was so guilty that i did not pick up that she was sick. She is a fussy eater but she always eat her food. For some reason i did not pick up something was wrong. I almost lost her.

No, I am not okay. I am relieved though. I am so relieved that she made it alive. The doctor said it was poisoning but she looked fine the whole time until the last minute when she suddenly fell on my lap and just looked at me with eyes filled with pain. I have never been more scared in my life. She is mine and i failed to pick it up on time. I have been crying so much until the dr told me on Saturday that she is getting better and have managed to save her on time. She started eating again on Sunday and today she is eating well. She started running and playing with me about 4hours after she came home and those were the longest 4hrs of my life. I am so grateful today to have her playing again.

I wanted to write about one of the most sensitive confessions but i decided that I am already dealing with a lot on my plate and i have no space for experiencing what has been bothering me before kookie was sick. I will deal with this issue next week.

Today during my counselling session my therapist asked me what i think about my life and you know what, i told him that I am ashamed to tell people about my experiences because its a mess. Sometimes there is no logic whatsoever and the events do not have a general direction of flow. Its like from covid to house hunting to pet clinic.

I mean what a mess right???

I am still grateful that i am alive and i have enough food and a job. My mental health will catch up once my life is no longer a mess, in the meantime i have to practice gratitude and identify the small victories and celebrate them with big parties. That way i will mostly remember the small victories that overshadowed the bigger problems in my life.

Until then πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ’œ

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