Still grateful day 2

I read this article and bookmarked it sometime ago and today I reread it again. There is something about how the author put everything out just the way I was thinking but never able to articulate. I also discovered how I have never thanked all my friends that have been with me in this long journey of mine.

Today I am so grateful to you all my friends that have always been holding my hand and never letting it go. Sometimes when I cry, you always hug me. This also goes to those that spoke words of life when all I wanted was to bury myself alive. To those that cleaned up after me when the side effects tried to pull me under. For those that came to me when I called crying and reinterpreted the doctor’s results over and over again until we found a silver lining. Thank you for going with me to my doctor’s appointments. Thank you for borrowing me money when I was broke and needed to buy my medicine.

I remember when I had my withdrawal symptoms one of my friends came and stayed over, took me to the hospital and stayed with me, when I thought I had cancer yet it was just withdrawals symptoms. I mean my brain goes from 0 to 100 there is no in between for me. To be honest I am not sure why I have such amazing people around me. My brain has either I’m about to die or I’m extremely happy hahaha I’m sure my friends are used to it but I do not take them for granted.

In April I started having panic attacks again thinking how my life was pointless and why I even exist. I remember thinking that I am just waiting to die, cos all i do is wake up, eat, work, sleep and repeat. The most boring thing was I do all of this in my bedroom on my bed. I was crying and panicking and depressed. One of my friends came to stay at my house for the 3 days it took me to recover and start taking my meds again. I will never forget it. I am so thankful for her. Today I appreciate her and many others, even the readers that always checks in on me. I love you.

Thank you all my friends, I really appreciate you. I really really hope that we grow old together. I am happy to have your paths cross mine in this universe. If there is a next life, I hope we meet again and I will take good care of you too.

Love, S

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